Bringing up children is known to be associated with the mothers more often than fathers. However, mothers and fathers are more or less the same to a kid in terms of love and presence, with some cases showing the father’s absence to be more critical for the kids. As much as children need their parents, the absence of the father should never be taken lightly as it may adversely affect a child’s growth, emotional and physical wellbeing.
Researchers found that, overall, the love — or rejection — of mothers and fathers equally affects kids’ behavior, self-esteem, emotional stability, and mental health. “But in some cases, the withdrawal of a father’s love seems to play a bigger role in kids’ problems with personality and psychological adjustment, delinquency, and substance abuse,” says study coauthor Ronald P. Rohner, Ph.D., director of the Center for the Study of Parental Acceptance and Rejection at the University of Connecticut in Storrs. And for others, the presence of a father’s love may do more to boost children’s sense of well-being and improve their emotional and physical health.
More research is needed to explain these connections. The issue is not who’s more important, says Dr. Rohner, but recognizing that dads are key in all the ways moms are. “We hope findings like these will encourage men to become more involved in their children’s care,” he says. “Then the whole family benefits.”
A father is not just any family member to the children; he needs to stand the position of being the role model that the kids need to look up to. He should lead the way, show love, motivate them and guide them where they stray off the track. It’s all in a day’s work being a father.
A good father makes all the difference in a child’s life. He’s a pillar of strength, support and discipline. His work is endless and, oftentimes, thankless. But in the end, it shows in the sound, well-adjusted children he raises.
A good father loves his children, but he doesn’t let them get away with murder. He strongly disapproves of his children’s misdeeds, using tough love to prove a point. He does this through the power of his words, not his fists.
Likewise, a father doesn’t reward his children for actions that are expected of them, such as helping with house chores or performing well in school. If his child drops out of school, the father demands that he provide for himself, considering the child no longer wants to invest in his own future.
Once you become a dad, do not let the new changes take you down with everything else taking a new course in the house. Your wife may have to switch to fit the situation and attend to the new way of things. But as a father, just give yourself sometime and then resume your normal life, let mommy get ample time to take care of the newborn, only to give her breaks when it is necessary.
Try to live your normal pre-child life as soon as possible. A lot of first-time parents totally freak out when they have an infant, and they don’t leave their house for two years because they’re afraid of what might happen to “the baby.” It’s a baby — not nitroglycerin. After a couple of weeks, go out and start to return to as much of you and your wife’s normal routine as possible. Remember — babies are small and travel surprisingly easily (especially with all the high-tech travel gear you’ll find at Super Baby Warehouse Megastore).
Give the mommy some time for herself. Look, I’d be lying if I told you that in an infant’s life, the dad is as important as the mom. When it comes to caring for an infant, and instinctively knowing what to do with a newborn baby, women have the market cornered, and being a mommy is a much harder job than being a daddy. That’s why it’s so important that you give the mommy as many breaks as you can. She needs time for herself, but she’s so wrapped up in being a mom, she probably won’t stop long enough to care for herself.
The best thing you can do is make her take breaks. Watch the baby for a while as she naps, then have your wife go visit her girlfriend, or if her mom lives nearby, have her take some time and visit her. Even if she just wants to go to the mall, or see a movie with her friends, you’ve got to make time for her to do this. She needs it (more than even she knows) and it gives you some wonderful time with your newborn. An important part of being a great dad is being a great husband, and a great husband makes sure his wife doesn’t get burned out being a mommy 24 hours a day.